If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
