so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
