i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
