It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
