She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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