they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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