The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize