i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Randomize
