We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
