I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
