the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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