PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
