Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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