nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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