I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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