I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
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