FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
