is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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