his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
