what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
