I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
