North Korea, Best Korea!
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
