Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
he thought i was a dude.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
