my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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