i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
