Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
