I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize