I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
