ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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