i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
