Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
