It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
