when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
