he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Do vagina's smell?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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