I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
