Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Randomize
