she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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