morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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