This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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