I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
