trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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