i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
