I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
