i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
