I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Two words: nipple clamps
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