someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Randomize
