i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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