You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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