50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
