it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
