I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i came on her dog
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
