Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
this is an emotional support booty call
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
you never un-have a 4some
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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